Thursday, January 31, 2008

You Decide

Okay, my story has officially jumped the tracks. Am currently hanging from side of train. After sending action hero to rescue the dangling author (i.e. me), please suggest solutions (you may vote even if you are not a writer) ...

The best way to save the new book is to:

(A) Start again (No frellin' way)

(B) Write 25,000 words of sex scenes and end with a big bang. (Pun intended)

(C) Eat chocolate until the sugar buzz makes the book seem inconsequential. (Godiva is only about 3 miles away)

(D) Hire a web-kitten to eat or ignore the file, while the author moves to Mexico. (Friends/Family/Web-buddies welcome to visit)


Anonymous said...

You know I'm going to vote for "C," especially if Godiva is only 3 miles away...

But I'd add a shot of tequila - or port - or brandy - to help the chocolate go down easier.

And voila! Plot problems will magically disappear with new (altered) perspective...because in the end, it's all about perspective. :-)

Larry Kollar said...

As one of the village pervs, I have no choice but to vote for "B."

Anything we can do to help, other than suggest (detailed) ways to accomplish B?

Kimberly Frost said...

Beth - Oh, right. I forgot how tequila can be a universal problem-solver. After a few margaritas, I often begin to say, "No shoes? No problem." Then I fall asleep and dream happy dreams. It is surely a writer's best friend.

Far - Regarding the additional offered help, sure. What did you have in mind? Anything except grapefruits with rum, which I can not (as previously established) abide.

P.S. Over at Kelly's blogs, the cats have answered.

Larry Kollar said...

Careful with the quantity of tequila, lest you find yourself writing "B" from direct experience. :-)

What I had in mind was: rum (grapefruit juice optional), some snacks, and a look at the situation. Maybe the combined power of The Unpublished Ones can help lever the track back onto the track....

Kimberly Frost said...

Far - That is the best offer I've had all day, and your warning regarding tequila and option B is duly noted. I am currently in negotiations with my characters. If we are not able to reach an agreement and they go on strike, I'll tap every resource I have. If not to help me write, at least to help me celebrate my unanticipated hiatus. ;)

Kelly McCullough said...

I would go for C myself, and some sort of serious caffeine overdose rather than alcohol, but I could be convinced on the alcohol front with the right drink. As for the webkittens, it's an evil road to start down.

Kelly McCullough said...

Oh, on a more practical note, I've discovered that if I can't see how I'm going to write myself back out of the corner I've written myself into, then the audience is mostly taken by surprise at the cool turn of events too. Of course, this does require bouncing your head off the wall or the...what sort of landscape is your speeding locomotive running across now that it's left the tracks?

Kimberly Frost said...

Hi guys,

I'm doing non-writing work today and tomorrow, which will give the characters time to talk amongst themselves. Sunday we'll see how willing they are to negotiate.

Re: What direction the runaway story is going... down the path of the subplots. This has been happening almost since the beginning. At first, I thought: "maybe these aren't the subplots; maybe they are the main plot." But no, I'm sure I had the plot right the first time.

Soon I'll do a post on what to do when characters mutiny. [And Kelly, wishing you well re: writing yourself out of that corner. I know you'll do it. :) ]

Hugs and Godiva (liquor flavored for Far) all around. See you soon.

Kelly McCullough said...

I always have gotten back out of the the corner so far. My skull is very thick, especially on that striking surface up front that I use on publishing problem.

I don't envy you the sub-plots problem. They're crafty beggars. Breed like rabbits and grow like bamboo if you don't keep an eye on them. I find a machete to be more effective than the traditional whip and chair.

Crystal said...

I'm no writer but what about combining B AND C???? The Chocolate/sex thing...I can see it! BESTSELLING NOVEL!!! Have a good weekend;o)

DennisB said...

My feeling is to avoid all the above and go for a little gem that always works for me when I get into a jam like this:

*stuff happens*

Once you type this, then you just jump ahead to a part of the book that you do feel is back on the track and chugging along. Then, later, much later, go back and figure out what that "stuff" was.

Works for me most of the time, anyway.

Kimberly Frost said...

Thanks, everyone. All excellent advice. :)

Rick Bylina said...

I'm late to the party. I like (E). Have the antagonist rescue her before the hero has a chance giving her divided loyalties and a question mark as to the antags ultimate motivations.

"Where were you when I was hanging by my fingertips from the side of train thinking about you, me, and a bowl of tequila-filled chocolates?"

"I was coming," Ralph said gasping for breath.

"By what?" Dan interjected, "some slow boat from China?"

"I ought..."

"Stop it, Ralph. Dan saved me. There is a streak of goodness in him."

"It's ploy. He's a snake."

"He risked his life for me." Nell hugged Dan. "Leave us."

ANNOYING ANNOUNCER: Will Nell abandon Ralph for Dan? Does Dan have a streak of goodness in him after all? Will Ralph turn to the darkside like his father Darth? Tune in next chapter for "The Perils of Kimberly".

Kimberly Frost said...

LOL. As usual, Rick B., you crack me up!

Kissing the Suspect Release!

Chapter 1 Callie Melville was wanted by the law, but to put it that way made things sound worse than they were. She hoped. The rumors...