Would-be Wayfarer

Every once in a while, I come across a show that I really love. Such was the case with Reaper . Have you guys seen it? Kevin Smith of Clerks, Mallrats , Chasing Amy and Dogma fame is a show consultant. The premise is that a young guy turns eighteen and gets a visit from the devil, who's got the smile of the Joker and too-tan skin a la George Hamilton. The devil, in fact, fits the stereotype of a used car salesman. Anyway, the parents of our hero apparently promised their first born to the devil in exchange for him granting them a favor. When Sam, the hero, turns eighteen, he's got to pay up by becoming a bounty hunter for Hell. This means he has to collect escaped souls and return them to Hell, using amazing implements like toasters and dustbusters. The drop-off point for the captured souls is the DMV where a horned demon named Gladys mostly looks bored, but often has a zinger for our boy and his pals. If you like humor mixed with horror...a la Would-Be Witch and Buffy the V...

(This little guy had breakfast with us at Empire Cafe a couple weeks ago. Seemed an appropriate photo for this post.) I click on a lot of news items as I switch sites to check my various e-mail accounts, and a week or two ago, I came across this story from the AP, posted in the Chattanooga Times Free Press MEMPHIS — Some drunks got out of hand near Beale Street in Memphis, but instead of barflies it was birds intoxicated from eating fermented fruit. The Health Department investigated this week after receiving calls about dead and floundering birds, cedar waxwings to be exact. The birds were crashing into buildings in the Peabody Place area. An investigator told The Commercial Appeal he traced the problem to berries from nearby holly trees. Recent freezes ruptured berry cells, allowing the wild yeast to convert sugars into alcohol. The birds apparently got tipsy from consuming the fermented berries. Health officials say they don’t how many birds died from flying intoxicated. (Yikes! Not...

So I was on the phone with my friend, David, who keeps me informed of things I need to know about like nice reviews and the date my new book will be released (Sept 1st according to Amazon.) Anyway, so we're chatting about God-knows-what, and he suddenly says, "Someone is selling a collectable Would-Be Witch for more than double the cover price." I pause, perplexed, and say, "What's collectable about it?" I have visions of someone gilding the lettering in real gold, and I'm just about ready to sign on to buy that fabulous copy myself, when he answers, "You signed it." This response leads to about five minutes of laughing out loud on my part. I quite doubt that the seller will find a buyer for the book at that price, but I wish them well and thank them for cracking me up. Meanwhile, anyone with an unsigned copy who wants to convert it into a collector's item, contact me through my website. I'll happily send you an autographed bookplate t...